When Truth Lies in Ugliness!

This article was published in Momken Magazine | Issue 4 | December 2012

Hannah smiled with content, adding the final touches to her first portrait. Eventually, it is finished. At first she had trouble learning to paint professionally, but she kept practicing on and on to polish her skills till she got the hang of it. Her pipe dream turned into reality at last.

The next day she was headed to the atelier, seized with excitement. No sooner did she rush through the door than all the faces expectantly gazed at her, full of eagerness to see the artwork of the girl with the wild imagination and phenomenal talent. Not taking notice of the excessive attention fixed on her, Hannah unveiled the painting amid the unfeigned curiosity of her amazed colleagues who could not help but raise their eyebrows. Before them laid a portrait of an ugly-faced man with evidently flawed features. At the sight of it, they were about to exclaim in unison,” what the heck is this nonsense?!”, but barely did they hold their tongue; however, the expression on their countenance said it all; it obviously turned them off.

“It’s just peculiar!” one of Hannah’s colleagues said after hesitation.

“yeah, it is,” Hannah replied in a quiet voice, trying hard to swallow the disappointment that swept over her on account of the apparent negative reaction . There was a lot of murmur around her about the terrible ugliness in the painting, but she tuned it all out, lapsing into glum silence.

For a moment, she stood still in front of her portrait scrutinizing it with her fingers and eyes. It carried the same image visualized in her mind for long. Now it became tangible and visible, which, in her view, was a worthwhile accomplishment itself. Then, why would she feel down due to people’s remarks? She thought. They just saw the outcome without encountering the same hardships which she went through and did her utmost to get over; she was the only one aware of her strenuous exertions; and nobody would ever appreciate her work as much as she did.

Strangely enough, such a sudden feeling of self-worth she was struck by had her sense the distinction deep down, along with the uniqueness of her endeavor.  Not discouraged anymore, a broad grin crossed her face in the midst of the baffled looks of her mates. Her own satisfaction with her achievement was what counted the most no matter how others perceived it.  

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The portrayal of the facial flaws was meant to be perfect since this is the way most of us in reality look like; our inner flaws are inadvertently reflected on our outer appearance, which makes us end up resembling this very portrait; so we give it our all to conceal this odious look by putting on such excessive, long-lasting make-up; but when wiped off, our rank duplicity is disclosed and the flaws appear unblemished. This is the truth which lies in the ugliness, the ugliness that we are reluctant to contemplate because it is not as appealing as beauty.

Literally inside every human, ugliness resides, but practically the majority insists on rejecting this reality to the extent that they get to believe that their fake beauty is genuine; and on top of this, they rebuff criticism and expect others to behave ideally, forgetting that they themselves are not devoid of defects.

“Why don’t they just remove the make-up and fix the ugliness from within?!” is a common question that frequently flashes through the minds of the puzzled minority who is willing to pull out the roots of deceit and fraudulence.

As a matter of fact, a part of the majority intentionally shuts their eyes to their ugliness because the latter serves their interests; meanwhile they keep wearing those delusive masks which, they erroneously think, make them seem more attractive although those very masks actually do nothing but distorting the traces of the diminishing beauty inside themselves.

Ugliness clearly manifests itself in oppression, selfishness, arrogance, transgression, violence, hatred, envy, cheating, to name a few. The fear of ugliness around pushes us to shun it though by doing so we will never manage to get a tight hold of it. It is a disease that spreads rapidly like a plague. Mulling over it will let us have more comprehension of its nature, and accordingly there will exist the possibility of curing it.

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“The ugliness in this painting is totally remarkable! There must be a long story behind it,” a friendly, familiar voice said from behind Hannah, interrupting her train of thoughts. In disbelief, she twisted around to find, much to her astonishment, her mentor closely inspecting her portrait with a warm smile on his face. “I knew you would come up with something ingenious as usual.”

Hannah beamed with pleasure, realizing that in any case the diligent effort never goes for nothing, and there always comes the day when somebody appreciates it.

Two weeks later, her painting was displayed in a well-known art exhibit, and below it the following caption was written:

“Ugliness gives us insight into our lives, yet not in an explicit manner. The message it conveys is always subtle; only the smart ones are capable of grasping it!” 

By Noha Fathi  

The Unleashed Capacity

This article was published in Cilantro Central Magazine
Issue 36 | June/ July 2012

“You failed!” is a phrase you might hear from your boss, your parent, your friend, your spouse; or you might simply feel it even though sometimes such a feeling is completely illusory; it echoes in your head on and on only to ravage you slowly from inside. Notwithstanding that it merely consists of four letters, this little word “fail” can easily turn your whole life upside down; it has a magical power to afflict you with an inferiority complex, which you may never recover from, and eternally leave you with a broken spirit as well as almost non-existent self-worth.

The ignored reality is that each individual in this world is successful but in his own fashion. Before going any further, let’s first define the broad meaning of success in order to be able to identify it. Success is the achievement of something you have been aiming for after considerable effort and time. In case you hold the notion that you are a failure, it is time to ask yourself this question:                                
  “How often did I accomplish something I have been aiming for after considerable effort and time?

Most probably the majority answer will be “many times” once they refresh the memories, pushed inadvertently at the very back of their mind; and this demonstrates how unaware you can be of your successes, letting them sink into oblivion, which accordingly culminates with allowing despair and disappointment to occupy a massive space of your life.

To make your answer more tangible, draw up a list of the successes you attained. Make certain you did not forget anything; you will find out, to your surprise, that there are plenty! Bear in mind that your success is not necessarily restricted to the area of work or study as its implications are virtually materialized on all fronts. Through this list you will come to be conscious of the bright side within yourself. The side that might have been buried for ages though it embodies your triumph and keeps you away from the failure zone.

Now let’s move to the counter part of your self or namely its dark side which permanently resides in you, but you barely bother to explore it. That is why it is dark for you and almost unseen. The process of throwing a light on this side can be conducted in two methods. The first, being highly rewarding if done systematically, requires a substantial amount of deductive reasoning. Bring the list of successes you wrote out earlier and then try to figure out what capabilities enabled you to achieve each success. This very analysis gives you deep insight into your skills and attributes, which is instrumental especially when it comes to applying for a job or getting involved in a particular activity.

The second method is trying your hand at something you have never done before. Should it work, you will have it to your credit. If not, at least you will learn something new out of this experience. Don’t ever be afraid to take your chances, and always remember the golden rule: “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

Last but not least it is worthy of mention that the more you live and learn about your own complicated human self, the more you realize it is impossible to fully understand its dimensions. Self is like space; its exploration is infinite. There always remains this dark zone that continuously awaits us to solve its mystery, the mystery of our covert, imperceptible abilities. So appreciate your potential however petty it is. Don’t let it be clouded by your weaknesses. This is the way smart people act!

By Noha Fathi