Is it Detestable in Islam Marrying a Divorced Woman?!!!!!!!!!!

Hundreds of women get divorced all around the world!
But by doing so, ……........

-Did they turn into culprits?!

-Should they be stigmatized by society?!

-Should they be condemned to live their life without marriage -even if they don’t mind getting married again- simply because they are so-called divorcees?!

If YES, that would be totally UNFAIR!

Had the answer been YES, Islam wouldn’t have legislated divorce as a last resort in case the two spouses reach a stalemate.

Islamically-speaking, divorce intends to be a way-out of a miserable life, full of breaches impossible to heal and void of affection, love, and mercy which are the basis of any sound relationship. In other words, divorce serves as a social, psychological remedy, giving a chance to each spouse to start his/her new life with a more compatible partner, rectifying his/her previous mistakes; hence, this may reduce the amount of loss caused by the wound of the former experience, which maybe, though bitter, a reason for a sweet life to come.

Once two people get divorced, it doesn’t mean both of them are EVIL! Rather it signifies they are NOT RIGHT for each other and their very marriage wasn’t fated to last, end of story!

“IS IT DETESTABLE IN ISLAM MARRYING A DIVORCED WOMAN?!” is a question that flashes through the mind of many people and all too often whenever it is raised, the answer comes out in the affirmative, which reflects how blurred this notion is for the majority. In reality, those guys shut their eyes to the portions in the Quran and Sunnah which prove otherwise.

Most wives of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) himself were divorcees and widows plus it is even striking to know that his first wife- Khadijah bint Khuwaylid - the love of his life, was previously married!

On the other hand, Allah said: "And there is no blame on you respecting that which you speak indirectly in the asking of (such) women in marriage or keep (the proposal) concealed within your minds; but do not make a promise of contract with them in secret except that you speak an honorable saying according to the Islamic law. And do not confirm the marriage tie until the term prescribed (idda) is fulfilled. And know that Allah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him. And know that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing." (Quran 2:235)

To illustrate, this verse demonstrates the permissibility of indirectly proposing to an irrevocably divorced or widowed woman¹ during her idda² as if it is a kind of implicit gentle invitation for men to do so. Had it been something odious, it wouldn't have been permitted or made easy as such in Islam.

Besides, Allah said: "It may happen that his Lord, if he(prophet Muhammad) divorced you, will give him in your stead wives better than you, submissive (to Allah), believing, pious, penitent, devout, inclined to fasting, previously married and virgins." (Quran 66:5)

This verse was revealed as a reprimand to two of the Prophet Muhammad’s wives who gossiped about him and divulged one of his private secrets; Allah stated He would grant the Prophet instead of them better wives who were PREVIOUSLY-MARRIED and virgin.

“There was no need of mentioning the previously-married in the verse! The virgins take the precedence anyway,” somebody might think to himself, baffled. As a matter of fact, the allusion to the PREVIOUSLY-MARRIED is made on purpose. It simply makes it crystal clear that Allah puts the PREVIOUSLY-MARRIED in an equal footing with the virgins otherwise they would not have been referred to. Reasoning the verse above with an open mind, any sane person can reach this conclusion. Therefore, the woman’s being previously-married element is excluded from the criteria of judging her since her piety is what counts in the first place as inferred from the verse.

It is worthy of note that a lot of prophetic sayings stressed this concept as well; The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” [Narrated by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) also said:
"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman (wife)."
[Narrated by Muslim]

As seen above, such attributes have nothing to do with her being a virgin, widow or divorcee. So kindly stop pointing the finger at the divorced women in particular, treating them as social outcasts who live in a community that is not theirs. This is truly the worst feeling that any woman can ever endure. The healthy society cleverly spots the problem and does away with it early on before it deteriorates and the gloom of ignorance gets heavier and heavier hindering the rays of enlightenment from penetrating into it!

________________________________________________
1-As for the EXPLICIT proposal, it is forbidden during the period of Idda.

2-A woman whose marriage is annulled, or when she is divorced, a period of waiting, known as idda, is followed. The prescribed time of waiting (idda) is about three months. For more info about that, see the Quran (65:1), (2:228).


By Noha Fathi  

How to interact with the Muslim woman (for men)

1-When engaged in conversation, maintain a generous distance.
2-Islam doesn't permit PHYSICAL CONTACT with the opposite sex such as through shaking of hands.
3-Keep conversation focused, short, & to the point. Intimate, suggestive, or recreational conversations are NOT well-received.
4-During the conversation, STARING or looking directly at the Muslim woman's face may make her feel uncomfortable.
5-NEVER ask a Muslim female for a date, or offer any type of liquor. This's also a religious mandate.

Copied from one of TEC's publications

Hijabophobic!!

”I’d like everybody to respect our choice and not exclude women who wear hijab from certain things … I mean this is truly oppression; they say the woman is oppressed because she’s wearing the hijab, but the true oppression is preventing somebody from going to school because they have a scarf on their head.” a girl living in the west lamented in sullen resentment.
“If people can walk on the street almost naked, why should her putting a piece of cloth on her head bother people or upset them? Girls wearing hijab are not hurting anybody.” I thought to myself empathizing with the poor girl, in a vain attempt to find a reasonable answer to the question.

Nowadays, some occidentals are astonished by seeing women wearing veil. Unfortunately, they hold the vague notion that veil represents oppression or compulsion from the husband or family and keeps many Muslim women away from society. Others argue that it brings backwardness & that those who wear it are regarded as second-class citizens. What’s worse, some recoil in fear at hijab considering it symbolization of terrorism. It is a wonder Muslim women in the west are still discriminated on the basis of such fallacies.

To begin with, it is worthy of note that Islam is not the religion which introduced or innovated the concept of veil; but its origin dates back to the early times of Judaism and Christianity. Rabbi Dr. Brayer (professor of Biblical literature at Yeshiva University) in his book, the Jewish Women in Rabbinic Literature stated that it was the custom of Jewish women to go out in public with a headscarf, which was then a sign of nobility; only prostitutes were not permitted to cover their hair in the old Jewish society. Besides, in the New Testament, St. Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians said: “and every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head.” That is, he urges women to cover their head during prayer.